I picked up a DVD from SamsClub recently and it was one of those four for one type of deals. Buy only one DVD and get four "classics" for just $12.99. I buy these all the time, and in this case it was the DVD above. I already owned Natural Born Killers, but I decided to buy this anyway to get Any Given Sunday. I know its a bad movie, but it just happens to be type of bad movie that I like. Hey, what’s the downside? It four movies! $3 a piece. Only a thrifty-ass wouldn't see the value here.
Well, for about a year everything was fine. Until one night after an evening engaging in some libations, I came home early and began to peruse my DVD collection. Nothing seemed to pique my interest, but when I came across this case I thought: “Ooooh! Bad movie time. This will be great. I need to watch total garbage. Right now…Lets go!” And BONUS: Alexander is expensive garbage! Oliver fails big or he don’t fail at all. $150 million big. Yeah, life can be pretty cool sometimes.
So I pop it in, and start watching Stone yammer on about how this is a special third edition of the film called “Alexander: Revisited.” It said “Director’s Cut” on the box but he is telling me that it’s a different film. Who cares? Same film.
It reminded me of the Tudors, but with worst actors and a much bigger budget. So I get bored quickly. It stinks, sure, but not in a memorable way. The way a film can cause hatred for the arts and bring me to the point of appreciating communism. So I put it aside and think, “eh…maybe some other night.”
Then, some other night, I actually sit down and watch it. After a poorly filmed war scene, some gayness, a totally nude Rosario Dawson, more gayness and some family bickering - we come to the intermission. At this point I am actually enjoying the film. It is not nearly as horrible as people make it out to be; apparently the marketing department was just really slick and made this look like the next Gladiator. Its kinda like the Tudors. They humanize legendary character and sort of draw you into the story – it’s basically a historical soap opera. With Rosario Dawson nude...this scene can revert any white supremacist.
So at the intermission, the movie ends. The disc goes to the main menu and so I take out the DVD and flip it over. Heaven and Earth starts up and I start to scratch my head. The wheels in my head are slowly turning..."There are two discs...and four movies...and there is only half the Alexander film on one side of a disc...hmmm..." THEY DIDN’T PROVIDE ALL OF THE FILM!
I currently have a complaint out to Warner Brothers and I am waiting to see what their remedy for this is. But when I bought this DVD I really didn’t expect the $12.99 to give me this much entertainment. Between Dawson's work and the questions that the oversight here raises; I feel this was money well spent! And of all the questions that I have about this error, my biggest one is, “why did they provide the longest version?”
You see, there is three different version of the same movie. The original theatrical version is 167 minutes long (fits on one side of a DVD) and the revised directors cut if a 30 minutes shorter (they tried to cut out some of the drama to make it more actiony). But the chose to bundled up and send off to discount store shelves was half of the three hour epic version that Oliver Stone specifically made for the fans of the film as a straight to DVD re-re-release.
It’s almost like they are challenging us to give a crap about what we are buying.
But no one does apparently. Expect for me!
Update: After absolutely no help from WarnerBros customer service for a couple weeks, I finally was directed toward the DVD store. A Warner Bros employee named Sherri was kind enough to not only send me a full copy of Alexander, but the Revisited version that is the most expensive one. Persistent nagging paid off.
Second Update: The first half of the movie was okay. The second half was remarkably gay. I don’t mean that I didn’t like it so “it’s gay” but that it was very homosexually charged and it made me uncomfortable after a while. I have seen some crazy stuff and try to keep a good attitude about accepting everyone for who they are. After all, variety if the spice of life – and gay people add to society in their own way. And I am all for preserving artistic merit and providing an accurate historical portrayal. But it probably wasn’t necessary to show more than one scene of Colin Farrell making out with a guy. There must have been atleast three scenes of romantic kissing between Farrell and a unic. Throw in the sexy man dancing and the generally random ending...and this film ends up really stinking.
I now understand fully why Warner Bros never bothered to provide the other half of the movie in their best of DVD. It’s the equivalent of providing the Godfather trilogy but only the first two films. It’s not correct, but it’s the right thing to do.
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