The Squatting Monkey Blog

The Squatting Monkey Blog
Now featuring articles from Frederica Bimmel!

Monday, September 12, 2011

Rex Grossman is the Matrix and why it's fun to be wrong sometimes.



During the height of the NFL lockout I was completely convinced that there would be no season in 2011. I had read the news, done the research and carefully explained to my friends why this season would not happen:

“Imagine if you owned a pizza shop,” I would tell them, “and you serve good pizza that everyone likes.” “Sure, there is more than place to get pizza, but yours is the best,” I would softly say. “And while your pizza shop is doing really well, you notice that all of a sudden the waiters and waitresses are singing to the customers. And the customers really like it and your business goes up even more! But then,” I would say as I started to use a gravelly voice, “the waiters start demanding more money…so much money that your profits start shrinking exponentially. Of course, you can’t get rid of the waiters because people just LOVE your waiters and if you do people might go somewhere else for pizza. But the waiters are taking so much money that your business won’t be able to make any money at all in just a few years. What would you do?”

Well, apparently greed conquers all things and the two sides managed to work their issues out. I am not sure HOW they came to an agreement, but the new CBA is for a decade and a lot is sure to happen between now and then.

I wrote an article in July stating my expectations for the season that would never come. I was totally wrong about the NFL season not happening. Let’s take a look at my other “expert” predictions.

Baltimore Ravens – Jimmy Smith was a good pick, and he will be a terror on the field if he can stay on the field. Can Flacco take another step forward when his QB coach has been fired? Nothing hampers growth more than hitting the reset button on the coaching system.
= He made the Steelers look awful…swing and a miss. Strike one!

Buffalo Bills – They made the decision to have another losing season by keeping Ryan Fitzpatrick as their starter. Perhaps they are shooting for Andrew Luck next year.
= He beat up the Chiefs. You will quickly realize how easy this is to do. This one will take a little time to prove, but no one expects Fitzy to take them into the playoffs.

Cincinnati Bengals – Palmer’s retirement is the best thing that could have possibly happened. His elbow has been shot ever since he greedily decided against IR so that he could continue to collect a fat game check. I see him going the Jake Plummer way and heading off into obscurity.
= Check.

Cleveland Browns – They start rebuilding along the defensive line with Taylor and Sheard, and they have a real gamer in McCoy. They are taking a page out of the rival Pittsburgh Steelers book. First get the talent. Then get the system. Then you win big. Things are looking up for the Brownies.
= Too soon. It’s simply too soon to tell.

Denver Broncos – Dropping McDaniels prematurely is the Broncos loss and the Rams gain. Fortunately, new HC John Fox will rebuild the defense and kick start the running game. Tebow is better than many think he is, and worse than others make him up to be. The teams decidedly rush heavy attack should help provide Tebow with a more downfield opportunities.
= I would marry Tim Tebow. I am not even a homosexual…he is going to be that good of a QB. Weddings would be awkward, but otherwise we would be a good fit. Their rushing attack has looked pretty dismal against the Raiders so far, but to be fair the Raiders are nothing to sneeze at.

Houston Texans – It is amazing how much money they continue to dump into an underwhelming defense. If they actually focused on making their already talented offense better, who know how many games they win.
= Don’t take anything away from the blowout at Indy…other than you can expect to see Indy lose a lot more in grand fashion.

Indianapolis Colts – They have Peyton Manning. See ya in the playoffs.
= Strike two!

Jacksonville Jaguars – The sooner Gabbert gets to play the better. It’s going to be tough sledding for the young QB with Mercedes Lewis as his only legit receiving talent. Mojo is starting to break down; he has seen a lot of reps for a 26 year old.
= Garrard wasn’t released due to awful play as much as having an awful contract. See “pizza shop” analogy above.

Kansas City Chiefs – With Weis gone and a Haley left to his own devices, this team is a lock to miss the playoffs. The talent is there and the system is there, but when it comes to strategy execution this team is far from a finished product. Calling Haley a “wildcard” is a modest label.
= Ahhhhhh…Check.

Miami Dolphins – They passed on Heismann running back Mark Ingram for a center and passed on drafting a signal caller to capitalize on another season of starting Chad Henne. They clearly have a game plan, but what it is exactly remains a mystery.
= Henne looked good against the Patriots in a tough matchup. Reggie Bush did not.

New England Patriots – The dynasty is dead but they remain a serious opponent. Belichick’s stigma with paying rookies may end up being the franchise’s undoing over the long haul. Unless they start to add serious talent they will continue to flame out in the playoffs. Maybe they should go back to cheating.
= Check.

New York Jets – They missed their window to win, but remain an intriguing sleeper. Sanchez is going to have to really step it up to keep this team moving forward. This is team is getting older, more expensive, and more difficult to manage each year due to their incredibly aggressive free agency strategy.
= Check.

Oakland Raiders – Without a first round pick and no free agency they haven’t had the opportunity to hang themselves yet. They showed a lot of progress last year but I remain convinced that Al Davis’ insanity will continue to hamper the team’s progress.
= They are playing well against Denver as I write this. Which actually does not count for much. Check.

Pittsburgh Steelers – If they didn’t trade away Holmes in a knee jerk maneuver for a 5th rounder last year they may have actually had a shot at beating Greenbay. All said, little has changed and you should expect to see them in the playoff again next year.
= I am not ready to confirm this one or slam it.

San Diego Chargers – this team has a lot going on. Few things are certain other than Norv Turner will continue to mismanage the team’s immense talent.
= Eh, another wait and see. This one is starting to look iffy.

Tennessee Titans – Locker is the future starter and he increasingly becoming their only option at QB. And even if they bring Hasselbeck into the fold it’s going to be rough sledding in Nashville. It doesn’t appear as if CJ will hesitate to holdout unless he starts to get a proper paycheck.
= Check.

Arizona Cardinals – With Kolb in the fold this team has playoff potential once again. They need to vastly improve their offensive line but they boast a complete team. With a solid mix of veteran and young talent, this will be the most interesting team to watch in the coming season.
= Check. So far. Kolb had 300 yards and two TDs against a formidable secondary. Just wait and see.

Carolina Panthers – There are few reason to get excited about the Panther’s prospects. Unless Newton quickly becomes the second coming of Steve McNair (minus the adultery murder) this team is destined for another top ten pick.
= Swing and a miss. STRIKE THREE! Let’s hope he avoids the adultery murder, but I haven’t seen such an electrifying QB since Vick walked into the league. He looked like a man among boys against the Cardinals in that first half. I had my reservations about him…it took only one performance for them to entirely dissolve.

Chicago Bears – In retrospect, no one can blame Cutler for the playoff debacle. The Packers got hot and no one was going to beat them. They remain talented and a playoff contender. Admittedly, Cutler needs to show more poise and touch, but the talent is there. Martz just needs to connect the dots.
= Check. Check-check. Check-check-check down Capitan Matt Ryan got mauled by Cutler and Urlacher.

Dallas Cowboys – After a lost season Romo and the Cowboys will look to climb back into the spotlight this year. Their roster is teeming with talent and a healthy Cowboys team is a near lock for the playoffs. They won’t win any playoff games of course, but they’ll see the post season.
= Check. Much to “certain people of a Hispanic heritage’s” dismay; Romo just can’t help but shoot himself in the foot. At least it isn’t in the leg… (Like Plaxico Burress did…that’s the joke here.)

Detroit Lions – Some say that the NFL is turning into a pass first league. That’s the cue for the Lions to tie up over 100m in the defensive tackle spot with back to back first round picks. Matt Stafford remains highly likely to end up on IR.\
= I am not saying he is bad. I own him in a $200 fantasy league and start him regularly. He is just gonna get seriously injured again, that’s all I mean. I am considering starting an injury pool, but unfortunately I can only offer a $1 for $1 offer on “Shoulder Injury.”

Green Bay Packers – Likely to repeat. They have only gotten better this offseason.
= Check.

Minnesota Vikings – Ponder was a reach at 12 overall, but a necessary pick. The rest of the team is still structured in a win now mode and the team thus far seems intent on keeping things as is. Ponder won’t get them to the playoffs despite the teams immense talent, but could McNabb?
= No. If anyone was ever a “system quarterback” in the NFL, it might have been McNabb. What happened to this guy?

New Orleans Saints – After an embarrassing loss to the Seahawks last year, this team should have a “revenge season – take no prisoners” attitude. Ingram will immediately become the starter and provides a 100 total yards a game presence. Currently, they are my NFC pick for the Superbowl in the coming year.
= Brees looked sharp. Even with Colston lost and Moore injured, they have the weapons to be serious contenders.

New York Giants – After an oddly underwhelming season, expect this team to get healthy and come out swinging. If they can start getting more consistency out of their players they have a great shot at a deep playoff run. Look for JPP to break out this year with a 10 sack campaign.
= Strike four…ish! JPP is going to be a monster (see week one) but this is one of the few teams that actually could be more injured at the beginning of this season than they were at the end of last season.

Philadelphia Eagles – Can Vick be slowed down? After last year’s dominance, it sure doesn’t look like it. Perhaps teams didn’t gameplan for him enough because they were expecting Kolb to start. They still need to find someone to play opposite of Asante Samuel.
= Double check…splurging for Asomugha and DRC was pretty ballsy. To quote a great rock band…”what better place than here? What better time than now?” More time needed for this one.

San Francisco 49ers – Firing Singletary was the best move possible; a maniac like that can really tank a team for the long haul. Keeping Alex Smith, in contrast, is one of the worst moves possible. I fully appreciate that Kaepernick is still a project and not ready to start, but after far too many disappointing years with Smith at the helm it’s saddening to see that its business as usual in San Fran.
= Check…I’m not happy about being right about this. I WANT to like the 49ers. I just can’t. It’s like liking Charlie Sheen. You can get your hopes up and it can get exciting for a little while, but ultimately you are going to get frustrated and realize that your parents were right all along.

Seattle Seahawks – Let’s give credit where credit is due, they beat the Saints in the playoffs. And while the team is showing progress and it has added young talent, serious questions about the coaching staff and their “strategy” remain.
= Strike Five. I tough that they actually were showing progress. Hahahahaha! They are gonna go get Tarvaris Jackson. That will show me! Whenever I see Pete Carroll I get a headache.

St. Louis Rams – Bradford is worth his weight in gold. Few rookie QBs have shown such poise or precision behind an unproven line. Fortunately for Bradford and the Rams, the tackle positions are shored up with young, high draft picks. With Atogwe leaving for the ‘Skins, their secondary has become a point of concern and their receiving corps may be the worst in the league.
= Check.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers – This team is getting dangerous quickly. Freeman has a major, pro bowl level breakout coming and the rest of the team is composed to primarily young talent. Perhaps not this year, or the next, but sooner than later a deep playoff run is coming.
= One bad game won’t tank a whole season. Perhaps I was looking at the Bucs through rose colored lenses.

Washington Redskins – The moment they decided to start Grossman over McNabb they revealed a complete disconnect between the owner, the GM, and the coaches. Unless they get on the same page, and by that I mean Snyder takes a chill pill, this team is going nowhere fast.
= Well, Shanahan is now in control. He is drafting for value and he managed to beat the Giants in week one. I am not sold on Grossman, but the run of 300 yards passing games is no fluke. I’ll give myself a pop fly on this one.

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