Full thread found here but the short of it is that i googled "post orgasm" one day and spent the rest of it cracking the hell up at all the stuff that came up.
This is one of the stories that was posted on Reddit:
Full link below.
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/17qiuy/what_was_the_strangest_thing_anyone_has_said_to/
WARNING: THIS IS A SEX STORY. THIS IS NOT FOR CHILDREN
]p_U_c_K 2 points ago
Kinda a long story, hang with me...
There was a smokers table outside my dorm room in college, like, outside, on the street. Our street was the main thoroughfare between the sororities and frats, so we'd get our fair share of drunken stumblies walking to and fro. I was out there the second weekend of the first semester and this group of girls was walking by, on their way to frat row. I didn't smoke but was just around for the ambiance, drinking captain and generally just being WT and this group of girls stopped to talk to the group of random people from my dorm that had coalesced around similar, scumbag ideals.
As I was taking a large sip of my concoction one of the girls looked at me and said "You're cute", to which I replied, like the ladies man that I am... "You know it?" and just pulled her in and started sucking face for some reason (yay captain!), the group started cheering as I disappointed her with my breath and thick tongue... So, she asked me if I had any more booze, I said I didn't, and my roommate, who spent the last year before coming back to Minnesota in South Carolina and had an intermittent southern accent because of it said "Shoot, I have a whole gallon of shine upstairs where I keep my britches!" (there was a girl from Texas he had a thing for in our group, so he literally did say that, and her vagina turned as dry as the surface of the moon), so I brought her upstairs, and proceeded to fumble around with my whiskey dick for about an hour, and then finally got it 10% hard and got it to fit in, and then ended up having sex with her for about 3 hours...
I had 3 roommates, the SC one was downstairs still, and the other 2 were named Dong and Daniel... "NOT DAN, DANIEL!" as he would say to complete strangers who had the nerve to attempt to introduce themselves to him. They sat in the hall on their laptops doing physics homework while I explored every nook and cranny of a complete stranger with my cram cram. I forgot to mention that during my whiskey dickery she attempted to stick a finger in my butt while giving me head, that's how I knew she was a keeper... "I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my finger, let's make it tangy"... So, everytime I got close to finishing Dong would open the door and yell "This is our room too!", and I'd lose where I was and would start all over again.
So finally, I finished, and it was easily one of the worst orgasms I've ever had. It was like when you get distracted during a sneeze. So, at this point, it was about 3 a.m. and I was generally exhausted, and no longer intoxicated, and started to realize I just had unprotected sex with a complete stranger... I plopped down, filled with instant regret and guilt, trying to find the nicest way for her to leave so I could dip my sack in hydrogen peroxide, and she says "We're gonna be so happy together! You're so cute! I love you!" and I said "no offense, but I have no idea what your name is... slow down"... and she started crying and said "ARE YOU CALLING ME A WHORE!?!?" and I said "No, I was just stating facts, we know nothing about one another, other than I clearly like 3 fingers and you don't like shaving" (I said that but instead of the 3 fingers I said I clearly don't like ass play), so she got dressed while whimpering and I saw her panties and bra in my bed and handed them to her and she said "keep them, to remember me by" and then grabbed my t-shirt off the floor and left...
I saw her in the cafeteria towards the end of the semester and she wouldn't look at me. I thought that was normal, but then her friend came over and called me an asshole and was screaming at me. I thought that was a bit much, but then I found out she had to get an abortion. Made me sad. I was in no position to have a baby and am pro-choice but still, that little zygote had his entire life of me disappointing him on birthdays to look forward to. Depressing end to a trashy story. Still can't figure out why Readers Digest didn't put this in their "Life in These United States" article.
This is one of the stories that was posted on Reddit:
Full link below.
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/17qiuy/what_was_the_strangest_thing_anyone_has_said_to/
WARNING: THIS IS A SEX STORY. THIS IS NOT FOR CHILDREN
]p_U_c_K 2 points ago
Kinda a long story, hang with me...
There was a smokers table outside my dorm room in college, like, outside, on the street. Our street was the main thoroughfare between the sororities and frats, so we'd get our fair share of drunken stumblies walking to and fro. I was out there the second weekend of the first semester and this group of girls was walking by, on their way to frat row. I didn't smoke but was just around for the ambiance, drinking captain and generally just being WT and this group of girls stopped to talk to the group of random people from my dorm that had coalesced around similar, scumbag ideals.
As I was taking a large sip of my concoction one of the girls looked at me and said "You're cute", to which I replied, like the ladies man that I am... "You know it?" and just pulled her in and started sucking face for some reason (yay captain!), the group started cheering as I disappointed her with my breath and thick tongue... So, she asked me if I had any more booze, I said I didn't, and my roommate, who spent the last year before coming back to Minnesota in South Carolina and had an intermittent southern accent because of it said "Shoot, I have a whole gallon of shine upstairs where I keep my britches!" (there was a girl from Texas he had a thing for in our group, so he literally did say that, and her vagina turned as dry as the surface of the moon), so I brought her upstairs, and proceeded to fumble around with my whiskey dick for about an hour, and then finally got it 10% hard and got it to fit in, and then ended up having sex with her for about 3 hours...
I had 3 roommates, the SC one was downstairs still, and the other 2 were named Dong and Daniel... "NOT DAN, DANIEL!" as he would say to complete strangers who had the nerve to attempt to introduce themselves to him. They sat in the hall on their laptops doing physics homework while I explored every nook and cranny of a complete stranger with my cram cram. I forgot to mention that during my whiskey dickery she attempted to stick a finger in my butt while giving me head, that's how I knew she was a keeper... "I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my finger, let's make it tangy"... So, everytime I got close to finishing Dong would open the door and yell "This is our room too!", and I'd lose where I was and would start all over again.
So finally, I finished, and it was easily one of the worst orgasms I've ever had. It was like when you get distracted during a sneeze. So, at this point, it was about 3 a.m. and I was generally exhausted, and no longer intoxicated, and started to realize I just had unprotected sex with a complete stranger... I plopped down, filled with instant regret and guilt, trying to find the nicest way for her to leave so I could dip my sack in hydrogen peroxide, and she says "We're gonna be so happy together! You're so cute! I love you!" and I said "no offense, but I have no idea what your name is... slow down"... and she started crying and said "ARE YOU CALLING ME A WHORE!?!?" and I said "No, I was just stating facts, we know nothing about one another, other than I clearly like 3 fingers and you don't like shaving" (I said that but instead of the 3 fingers I said I clearly don't like ass play), so she got dressed while whimpering and I saw her panties and bra in my bed and handed them to her and she said "keep them, to remember me by" and then grabbed my t-shirt off the floor and left...
I saw her in the cafeteria towards the end of the semester and she wouldn't look at me. I thought that was normal, but then her friend came over and called me an asshole and was screaming at me. I thought that was a bit much, but then I found out she had to get an abortion. Made me sad. I was in no position to have a baby and am pro-choice but still, that little zygote had his entire life of me disappointing him on birthdays to look forward to. Depressing end to a trashy story. Still can't figure out why Readers Digest didn't put this in their "Life in These United States" article.
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