The NFL playoffs are upon us! So let’s address the most important matter at hand… what is next for Terell Owens. He can clearly still play and has outplayed an out-of-shape Chad Johnson the entire year. But what team could possibly want such a headcase? And why the hell am I wondering about it right now of all times? Cause the Bears as f---smacking the Vikings in grandiose fashion on MNF and I want to write about it.
Well, lets get the obvious ones out of the way first:
Philadelphia Eagles
Buffalo Bills
Cincinnati Bengals
Dallas Cowboys
These teams have already had their fill.
Next on the scratch off list:
Pittsburgh Steelers – does not match team attitude
San Diego Chargers – does not match team attitude
Indianapolis Colts – does not match team attitude
New Orleans Saints – does not match team attitude
New York Giants – has enough receivers
New York Jets – has enough receivers
Chicago Bears – has enough receivers/attitude
New England Patriots – Randy Moss burned this bridge
Minnesota Vikings – Randy Moss burned this bridge
Baltimore Ravens – has enough aging veteran receivers
Arizona Cardinals – has enough receivers
Detroit Lions – rebuilding, needs more talent not older talent
So now we are down to the possibles. If you don’t like the selections so far
Just go write your own on your own blog and I will be sure not to read it.
Lets try to chip down to the likely’s.
Atlanta Falcons – After Vick, they have valued high character players
Carolina Panthers – rebuilding, there are better stopgaps are available for a year.
Cleveland Browns – rebuilding, robiski and massaquoi are better off being developed along with McCoy.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers – this team needs to continue to develop their younger talent
Kansas City Chiefs - better stopgaps are available for a year.
Green Bay Packers – this team needs to continue to develop their younger talent
Denver Broncos – the shadowy emergence of 29 yr old Brandon Lloyd makes it unlikely.
Ok, down to nine, but I am sure most think that a lot of these make no sense. Well, lets see:
Houston Texans – if Kubiak makes it back, he will truly be in the hot seat and after missing the playoffs this year he desperately needs to find someone to pair with AJ. With his grace period clearly over and enough overall team talent to be making the playoffs, signing a Hall of Famer on the cheap may make some sense to a desperate coach .
Jacksonville Jaguars – the playoffs are coming and they have one of the worst receiving corps in the league. MSW is highly inconsistent and oft injured, and everyone else other than Mercedes Lewis is practice squad material.
Miami Dolphins – I know. I have heard it before: “Brandon Marshall and blah, blah, blah…” I don’t care. This team has serious issues and their coach needs to win right now to keep his job. Henne has been a major disappointment in a make it or break it year and it is now obvious that paying Brandon Marshall up to his talent level still won’t make him really care about his team or winning. After a decade of serious struggle and possible changes at major offensive positions, this team could very well look the most different coming out of the post season. Management has rolled the dice before on free agents and risky trades; T.O. for a year is a possibility.
San Francisco 49ers – Don’t even start! The fact is that this team needs to be rebuilt from the ground up. But instead you will get to watch another season of Singletary making an ass out of himself and his team because of management’s inability to recognize their errors. Their consistent errors… this is one of the most poorly run teams in the NFL. Everything from their gameplan to their execution is atrocious and they mishandle talent to a degree that’s staggering. In fact, I have convinced myself that they won’t sign him just by writing this. Why would they let Michael Crabtree learn from a Hall of Famer? That would make too much sense.
Tennessee Titans – Will VY be back? Will Fisher? Moss won’t be, but the rest is uncertain. If management is willing to bring in Randy Moss on a lost season and pay his exorbitant contract only to keep him in a third receiver role, you cannot tell me that T.O. for $1.5m is impossible.
Okay down to four:
Oakland Raiders
Seattle Seahawks
St. Louis Rams
Washington Redskins
Oakland will go there! Oh yes, and will make a bad free agent signing in style. They don’t just shoot themselves in the foot, they do it with a howitzer and then they dance through the salt fields of Cambodia while chugging Ipecac and playing Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde on Nintendo. After a good draft and a good season this team is just primed to screw up again.
Seattle is just plain pathetic. I don’t know how you ruin a team so quickly with so much talent on the roster. When you best receiver is nicknamed “big mike” because he resembles an offensive lineman you have issues. When you trade for a backup QB and call him a franchise guy, only to bench him after one game, you have issues. And when you have issues, ultimately, you kick the tires on T.O.
The Redskins aspire to be pathetic. I don’t know what the hell Shanahan is doing and but needs to rebuild this team from the ground up. Unfortunately, owner Dan Snyder has mucked things up for years and it has finally coalesced into one giant red and gold hemorrhoid on the ass of an otherwise unusually good NFL season. I can think of a handful of starters that need retained, but Shanahan should go all out firesale on the rest of the team. But after the McNabb debacle, and the Haynesworth debacle, and the poor drafting, and the poor free agent siging…come on Snyder! What’s one more little wafer-thin T.O. gonna do? Make things worse?
The St. Louis Rams could really use some young talent to develop with Bradford, but they have very little and could really use a no 1. receiver. Yeah, I called him a No.1 receiver, because his looks, attitude and statistics make him look just like one. This may seem like an unlikely landing spot for a team rebuilding; one trying to develop younger talent along with a young QB, but giving Bradford a big, physical receiving option on the field will ultimately help him develop more than hinder the development of any of their younger receivers.
Say what you will about T.O. Hell, say it to his mama. I don’t care. Outside of him getting injured, Prince Egoista will play again next year. I am voting for Seattle personally. Outside of landing a top flight wideout in the draft, this team needs receiving help fast and their new head coach is going to need to show something other than mediocrity. So far he has done nothing by made an okay team downright bad through terrible trades. This team needs help in many areas and a one year contract with T.O. makes sense from where I am sitting.
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